Girl Dad- An Open Letter to my Husband
Photo Credit: Casey Buckman Photography
If you’re new around here, you might not know that our family is a blended family. That’s right, our family of five is blended. I knew from the moment I met Casey that he was one of the good guys. You see, I’m pretty introverted at times which over the years, I think, has given me the gift of sizing people up. When most people enter the room and walk straight up to someone to introduce themselves (as Casey did to me from across a running store— read about it here), I stand back and observe. Don’t get me wrong, I am perfectly capable of introducing myself, and will do so, but usually only after I size up the room. Doing so has afforded me the ability to see how people respond and act when they are both in and out of the spotlight— to read their body language. So like I said, I knew from the moment I met Casey that he was a good guy. When I walked into Ultramax Sports that Wednesday evening, I noticed the man that walked and talked with ease to every, and I mean every, person in the room. He treated every newcomer as if he’d known them for years and even as he walked away from conversations, people continued to talk highly of him. It wasn’t until a few weeks later though that I discovered he was also a great dad.
Around that time I was trying to get more involved in the running world and meet people in my community so I signed up to volunteer at a children’s triathlon. I brought my dog along and we were assigned to the run portion of the race. When my volunteer duties were complete, I headed back to the main race area so that I could watch all the kiddos triumphantly cross the finish line. It was here that I, quite literally, ran into Casey. As we bumped into each other he graciously caught ahold of me, said hello, but then quickly moved passed me. I would have thought it was a little rude at first had I not seen who he was within steps of chasing— his son. His youngest son (a mere 4 years old at the time) had just exited the swim portion of the event and Casey was following him step for step cheering him on. He helped him get on his bike, ran with him down the road, helped him off the bike, and then ran to the finish line with him, cheering the whole way!
Needless to say, when we began dating, I wasn’t concerned about his ability to be a great dad. He already was. But it wasn’t until we welcomed our first baby into the world together this past March that I knew, Casey was born to be a girl dad! First, I want to note Casey loves ALL his kids. He does an amazing job of bringing out their strengths and loving each of them as individuals. He’s mindful of their needs and does his best to be present any time they're around. But the thing is, I wasn’t there for all the milestones with the first two kiddos. I didn’t birth those two amazing boys and I wasn’t there as Casey helped nurture and cuddle them as babies. I didn’t get to experience all of the kid’s firsts with him. I’d already known he was a great dad, but with our daughter, I was getting to experience the whole process with him.
Photo Credit: Casey Buckman Photography
During our pregnancy everyone told us we were bound to have another boy. Experience and family history on his side certainly pointed to that trend. So I— with my super stubborn self— immediately wanted a girl just to prove everyone wrong and it wasn’t long before Casey wanted a girl also. And man, you should have seen that man swell with pride the moment we found out we were in fact having a girl. He was so excited to embark on a new journey as girl dad. He was eager to learn all about dresses, and bows (so many bows), and how a girls needs might be different in some ways from a boy. I mean, I knew he was proud and excited already, but it really wasn’t until the moment on the operating table when they pulled her from me and I heard him exclaim, “Oh honey, she’s beautiful,” that I knew he’d be the best thing to ever happen to her. So here is my way of giving you all those words of affirmation you so deserve and shouting from the rooftops “I love you.”
Photo Credit: Casey Buckman Photography
Casey,
You my dear, like I’ve known all along, are one of the good guys. And I’ve fallen in love with you all over again while watching you love our daughter. You are already teaching her so much, like the standard for which a man should treat her— In the way you selflessly got up in all hours of the night to change her, bring her to me, and then rock her back to sleep. In the way you take care of me and rub my swollen postpartum feet nearly every night. In the way you talk to me, nurture me, and worked extra hard picking up more jobs so that I could stay home with her for 8 weeks. And so much more. Thank you for getting up with me all those nights, thank you for being there for both of us, and thank you for always saying “yes,” and self-sacrificing when it would be so much easier just to complain or say “no.” Most of all, thank you for walking alongside me and giving grace as I continue to adjust to my new role as a mama while still navigating and growing my role as step (bonus) mom. I am so grateful for you.
It warms my heart the way you’ve taken on the responsibility of girl dad. I love how excited you got the first time you brought her to me one morning beaming at the fact that you’d dressed her, brushed her hair, and gave her a matching bow. I love the way you talk to our sweet Charlee baby. You’re so gentle and sincere in all your little daddy-daughter conversations. I can easily picture you down the road, stooped to her level, having tea parties, going to daddy-daughter dances, brushing off her knees when she falls, and talking her through her worries.
Recently, you off-handedly mentioned that you hoped all your baby-talking and silly faces didn’t make me see you as less of the man than when we first began dating. But honey— seeing your love for our daughter has shown me a different side of you. Something about raising a daughter changes a man. Makes him a little softer, more humble, and a little more understanding. Charlee has brought out a new side of you that I have fallen completely in love with. A little girls first love is always her daddy and you’re already setting the stage for her to trust a strong man. By taking care of us (and especially through your relationship with me), you’re teaching her to find a man that is kind, approachable, and loving. You’re teaching her how to see and feel love and how to be treated in her future relationships. You’re also unlocking a part of her that I will never be able to. You know those differences that you and I have?! Those differences are to her benefit. They’re opening a world of possibility to Charlee that I could never give her on my own. God knew what he was doing there. While I’ll teach her to be careful and cautious, you’ll teach her to jump right in— and I love that. You’ll teach her how to be silly and goofy and how to crack the best jokes while I help her understand the importance of knowing your audience for the best comedic timing. I’ll teach her how to bake the yummiest cookies while you teach her how to sneak them from the cookie jar…the list goes on.
I can’t wait to see and be part of all your little adventures together. You’re such a great daddy to all of our kiddos and we are so blessed to call you ours! You are so beloved!
xo
Photo Credit: Casey Buckman Photography